The New York Times published a report from the Pew Research Center today saying a new trend is emerging- men are now marrying women with more income and more education than themselves. To see the full article: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/19/us/19marriage.html
The women interviewed report difficulty finding a partner who can grow with them, share common goals and values, and intellectually stimulate their minds long term without being intimidated. Another woman even shared that men were often intimidated and quoted a friend as saying, “You’re confident, have good credit, own your own business, travel around the world and are self sufficient. What man is going to want you?”
In “Closing the Leadership Gap Add Women, Change Everything” Marie Wilson writes that one barrier to women in leadership roles is “the unacknowledged societal fact: High-ranking jobs, and the ability to do them well, are based on a two-person model-one on the front lines of work and one in support of that effort at home.”
Interesting timing for such an article, as my weekend was spent having difficult conversations with the person I love about whether or not we have common goals and how that may play out in our relationship. Unlike the women in this article, I am blessed enough to have someone in my life who is not too intimidated to openly and honestly say she never wants to hold me back. A woman who recognizes that our paths are likely to lead us in different directions, and that the lessons we learn in the meantime are still worth having. My boss (CEO for a major non-profit) and I often discuss how difficult it can be to be successful at work, without any support at home-and she has a stay at home partner, who just isn’t very good at the job. Since our discussion today might mean more responsibility, I got to thinking about Marie Wilson’s idea that you really need a two person model to make it all work.
I like to believe I am superwoman and can do it all. On many days I can. But on days like today, I admittedly cannot. I need a safe place to land at the end of the day, and sometimes, I need someone else to keep all the balls in the air on the home front. I always say it takes a village, (the proofreader program will say this is cliché, but it is staying, and ps can you tell the proofreader I started this blog so I didn’t have to be edited. I don’t give a damn that it is in passive voice) and many of the roles in the village are currently filled. I have the assistant to hand things off too when I am about to pull my hair out. I have the workwife, who was away dealing with her real marriage for awhile, but is now back and bad. The workwife does the organizing of work related fun things, gifts, reminders, etc-so that role is filled. I have the friends who cheer me on, and the friends who check me. I have the friends who work hard and party harder. I have the amazing team who work together with I synergy I am in awe of. I have the girl who loves me and gets me and is the caregiver of all things furry. What I am currently hiring for is a housewife. Interested?
Housewife Duties Include:
- Dropping the laundry off to the laundry lady (God I love Miss Connie), picking it up, and putting it away.
- Planning menus, shopping for food items, and maybe cooking once a week. (I love to cook, so I can’t relinquish all control)
- General picking up around the house, but I don’t want to tell you what needs to be done. I want you to figure that out yourself.
- You would need to get me and how I think. You might need to have a thick skin and a good sense of humor.
- It would be nice if you could stick around just until I get home, share a cup of coffee with me, and let me download my day. Sometimes also known as spewing, venting, or emotionally vomiting.
- Weekly deep cleaning rituals would be nice, but I don’t mind doing this on weeks when my life is less chaotic.
- Organize dates between me and the girl, for this you really need to know me, because what I like to do varies with my mood. If I am single, your duties might include scheduling.
- Organize the birthdays, cards, shipping of things, and bill paying.
- Sex is not required, and room and board is negotiable. Pay starting at $20,000.
Ok, really I’m just gonna stop there, although I’m sure there are other things I’d like taken off my plate. I was all hot and bothered about this post after a 12 hour workday, but now at midnight, it really doesn’t matter that much. I like to be the caretaker, and I can be a little bit of a control freak, so I’m not sure that my bright idea will work too well for me in the long run…
I know one thing for sure; even on my most overwhelmed days, I refuse to buy into the hype that feminism has failed me, or that I can’t have it all. I just haven’t seemed to strike the balance, not yet, but I will….one day.
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