Friday, October 23, 2009

39 Things That Annoy Me, And 5 That Don't:

Disclaimer: I know I’m being pissy. But this is my blog so I can write pissy bullcrap if I feel like it.

1. When people tap on my door and then enter without waiting for me to invite them

2. When people interrupt me to say “hi” even though I’ve been in the same house with them all day and spoken to them several times

3. When people come into my room and interrupt me just to lounge around because they’re bored

4. How much weight I’ve gained since moving back to Modesto

5. How much weight I’ve gained since Fall 06

6. That my meds make me crave carbs, thus adding to the weight

7. That I stuff sugar-filled products in my face to sedate myself

8. People who are too lazy to read directions and figure out for themselves how to wash their new shirt/use facebook/take a picture/upload music/chew gum and walk. so they ask me.

9. The fact that my own brother hates books/reading. This doesn’t just annoy me- it flat out pisses me off

10. When people ask stupid questions about a tv show/movie- interrupting plot developing dialogue- when they’d know what was going on if they just sat down and watched the damn show

11. When people interrupt the last minute of a movie/show/book/whatever

12. When people talk during emotionally high parts of shows- particularly during Grey’s. Grey’s is how I fucking cope sometimes people- I cry over Greys because I can cry over their stupid over-dramatic shit and forget the mundane crap that fills up most of my days. I’m invested in these stupid characters. Especially because THEY DON’T BREAK THE MOMENT BY SAYING SOMETHING POINTLESS AND NOT AT ALL FUNNY.

13. People who can’t deal with the fact that I do, sometimes, get genuinely pissed at the stupid stuff they do. Particularly when they make a habit of it. It doesn’t mean I hate you forever! And I’m not even gonna pretend I’m not a real pain in the ass sometimes, because I know how much of a self-righteous, self-important snot I can be.

14. That I go into most situations, particularly church-related ones, almost anticipating how I will cringe and roll my eyes at the stupid, watered-down slop they shove our way.

15. That I’m such a hypocrite.

16. That I’m too busy being annoyed and self-righteous to having a chance in hell of not winding up either stark-raving mad or a total phony or a friendless bitch.

17. When people act annoyed at my simple mistakes.

18. How annoyed I get at other people’s simple mistakes.

19. That my room smells like rat piss and cat shit. And cat litter.

20. How complicated it is to pick and apply to graduate programs.

21. That I’ve wasted two years before seriously trying to start grad school.

22. That I didn’t do more extra curricular activities, get all As, write for the University newspaper and English Department publication.

23. That bitchy, perfect Lily didn’t include any of my haikus in her precious Zine

24. How much I admire Lily’s talent and lust for life. And how much I envy her physical appearance.

25. When people say cliche bull crap feel good shit to me, as if they think they understand where I’m coming from

26. How easily I get annoyed

27. How often I get annoyed at people I care about

28. How few people I care about, and that there are even fewer I respect, and that I doubt many of those would think much of me

29. That I bitch and moan on a blog- where I can bear thoughts that should be private to the public world as a ruse called “honesty” that’s really only saying “if I point it out first, you can’t hate me for being it!”- instead of really writing

30. When people come in and look at my wall-quotes or character cards and comment on them, as if they’re up there for them to see.

31. That very, very little of what I do or think has to do with anyone other than myself, or how I worry others perceive me

32. That Joshua decided to “develop a thing for” me right before Oxford. Because now I can never know if the happiness I felt there would have still existed if I hadn’t been functioning under the delusion that I was wanted, as I so desperately wanted to be.

33. That Joshua is such a jerk to others

34. That I’m not as cool as Mallory

35. When people say snotty stuff about silly things that I like, just because they’re fun- like Twilight/vampires, various tv shows/books, etc

36. Romance novels.

37. When people recommend genre paperbacks to me. Just because I like Anne Rice, studied Postmodern Lit, and am amused by a smattering of YA book crack DOES NOT mean I want to invest all my reading time into crappy novels (note: Rice and Postmodern novels NOT being crappy, of course, even if YA stuff kind of is)

38. That hardly anyone comes to events I plan (ie parties)

39. That Jasper never cleans his rear properly, or even bothers to keep his tail down. I mean, gross.

1. When Jasper curls up behind my knees and falls asleep while I’m reading or trying to fall asleep

2. The inevitable insomnia that occurs the night before I start a new job. Sure it’s painful, but it almost feels like a preparation for battle. Strange, I know.

3. Evolution, in relation to its supposed threat to faith. I mean, really, is God so small that a little science will defeat Him? Pfft.

4. Peter Kent’s Hemingway-esque snobbery. My amusement/taste for it is more than likely not entirely healthy, haha…

5. When it decides to rain after I’ve ventured outside, resulting in my having to walk all the way back to my flat through the downpour, only to arrive in our doorway before Amy, looking very much like a drenched kitten. Some say “rat”- but those people are stupid anyway.

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